For a long time now
I’ve made some mistakes
Made promises I never kept
I’ve said a whole lot of shit I probably shouldn’t have
Was it all fun and games?
Was all of this just to play with your head?
No but I never said a thing to you about it
I was scared
Relationships scared me
I was never one to keep on going along with it
I tried my best to keep that out of the question
I never wanted one to last as long as it was supposed to
But after realizing some stuff
I finally opened my eyes
Just like everyday the sun rises up in the bright blue sky
You showed me how it should be
But you’re gone and I’m left with the image of your smile in my head
I see you just about every night I close my eyes
And the days I’m left with just the thought of you
Guess not every one is meant to fall together
I threw it all away because of my selfishness
Yet I’m still here waiting
Perhaps I’m waiting for nothing but it never hurts to dream of a day that you’ll be here with me
I wish that I could look at everything much more clearer.
I wish that life itself would be much more easier.
I wish that everything could change in an instant but time is creeping up on me much faster.
But I know that wishing for everything just doesn’t cut it anymore.
I’ve been living the same old life, over and over.
Gained a lot in my glory days but nothing lasts forever.
Sometimes I don’t even know why I even bother.
Seems like feeling sorry for myself is all that I’ve ever done.
Seems like all my life all I could ever do is run.
This god damned feeling is much more harder to overcome.
If I could end my life right now it would be In front of a gun.
Will my saving grace ever come?
I’ve wasted enough time worrying about the tomorrow’s
I’ve been thru hell and back dealing with my sorrows
I’m not living another day going head on with our quarrels
I’m hollow enough as it so please save it for the gallows
Us, From Outside - Because You Asked (Acoustic)
It’s so good.
It finally hit me
This is all real and not a dream
I held it in as long as I could
You’ve finally broke me
But I wept silently
Because I’m just too proud
Too proud of how strong I’ve become
I guess life can’t always go your way
Whether you’ve learned how to mask your emotions
I haven’t learned anything I suppose
Perhaps I’ve tried too hard to be who I am
I guess the strong can be suppressed
Each day kills me
As I get up every morning
Snow is melting and you’re nowhere in sight
This would be the time you’d come by
This would be one of those days you’d run away from home
But only to be outside and play
I’d often send you home
But you would always gave me that look that told me you won’t
Every time you’d cry it would take my wind
It often hurt me to see you cry
I miss those days
I miss you even more as each day passes
You wear my heart on your sleeve
Stitched on neatly until you come back home
Though you’re happy now with a new family
But their love won’t ever compare to mine
How long am I going to feel this way
I trie hard to push the memories away
But it hurts even more knowing it isn’t easy to let you go
Hopefully time will heal my tattered heart
But as long as you’re happy
I’ll try my best to be
Love your “Uncle Bean”
Can’t say I’m any better
Than how I usually make myself sound
Promises are easily broken
When they come from me
I try hard not to be who I used to be
But I guess it’s embedded in my head
I can’t change who I am
Sometimes I wish I could be rid of it
I have some time on my hands, what's an enjoyable, stimulating activity that will get me active?
*Watches Thor on my laptop*
I lay here
Thinking about better days
I’ve wasted too much of my time
For not doing anything at all
Being patient with life was my excuse
It never got me anywhere
And here I am stuck in the middle of nowhere
I sit here waiting
For another excuse to pass me by
I’ve come so far yet I’m still contemplating
If I should just get off my ass
And do something for once in my life
Just try to build a better future that waits
Behind all these obstacles in front of me
Perhaps it’s time I open my eyes and see
That there is more to life than all the excuses
That I based my life on
For so many years
The years went by fast
And I’m not sure if I’m too late
Too late to do anything
But I’m sure there is something there waiting for me
So what should I do now
Do I go on and lead myself into reality
Where life seems to blossom
And the sun shines brighter than the dark hole I hid away in
Perhaps I should
Maybe I’ll even enjoy what is to come
It’s easy to ignore the truth
And live in a lie that is worth living
the blasphemy that leaves us incomplete leads us further into our destruction
We’re forced to believe everything is all handled and well taken care of
The media shows us the deception of all the materialistic dependencies we all can’t live without
Were all numbers in a society
that coincides with the unrealistic hope we’ve been subjected to follow
All these years we’ve all just been sheep being lead to the slaughter
Don’t embrace the false hope you’ve been forced to believe
We should not stray away from truth and the reality that’s hidden from us